Feeling A Little... Drained This Holiday Season

It's been a while, folks! I'm slowly starting to realize that I'll most likely treat this blog more like my diary than anything else... which would explain how infrequently I post. After all, it's been a whole year since my last post!

Christmas is creeping up on us in just three days! While I'm very excited for the idea of Christmas, I'm just not feeling very genuinely festive this year. Don't get me wrong; I'm excited for people to open the presents I got them, I'm excited to see what my loved ones have gotten me, and I'm excited to finally comb through the gifts that my students have given me over the course of the week. In fact, I'm hoping to take many, many photos on Christmas Day in hopes of capturing the festivities, colors, and overall happiness.

However, it's been a rough couple months for me. I'll start with the most obvious source: school. I know graduate school is supposed to be tough. I know that sometimes all my hard work will result in grades that I might not agree with because they don't reflect the amount of time, effort, and energy that went into the assignment. However, after receiving my second B of my graduate school career (because of an unfortunate group assignment where I was assigned to work with peers who had no interest in hearing what I had to say or what ideas I had to offer), I'm questioning myself a bit. Okay, a lot. I've heard it over and over -- a B isn't the end of the world. In fact, it was technically a B+. I should be happy. I should be proud. I worked hard.

But the truth is that that's not how I feel at all. I'm not happy with that grade. I'm not proud of that B. The only statement that I'm totally on board with is the fact that I did indeed work hard this semester. I guess part of my feelings is that I come from a family where education and overall academia is held as the highest priority. I've been pressured my whole life to get A's in school, and was consistently punished when I didn't. I guess my parents' parenting style worked, because now I'm punishing myself for not achieving as high a score as I could have.

Aside from school, there are other things weighing me down this holiday season. Of course, nothing just magically starts to ail me around the holidays. During almost every other holiday season, I'm just as festive as the next guy. But like I said, this year proved to be different for me. Another major factor affecting my jaded view of this holiday season is the (seemingly one-sided) strain I'm feeling on my relationship with my boyfriend.

I know, I know. What's a relationship without fights or disagreements? I get it. We've had our share of arguments, and I'm sure there's bound to be more in our future, but this feeling goes beyond just "Ugh, I'm just so annoyed/angry with you right now." Lately, I've felt like my boyfriend has been getting increasingly short with me. I noticed it about two months ago. He isn't necessarily mean to me. In many ways, he's still the same sweet and loving significant other who would never wish me harm, and I know that he still is that guy. But that same guy is also the guy whose patience with me seems to be thinner than before, and whose opinions and decisions suddenly seem to be the be-all and end-all of many of our minor disagreements. For example, today, I was wondering if I should get his brothers a gift because I suspected that his brother's girlfriend had gotten him and the other brother a gift. Being that the four of us had recently discussed opening presents together on Christmas, I felt a little unsure about my decision to not get gifts for either of the two brothers. I didn't want to look like a "bad girlfriend" by coming relatively empty handed when this other girl had gotten gifts for parents and siblings alike. I expressed my uncertainty to my boyfriend when we were alone later on in the day, and I was a bit shocked to find that his response to me was to tell me to stop freaking out (even though I wasn't) and that we would just go get gifts for his brothers tomorrow if that's what I really wanted, and that would be the end of the conversation. I had no say in the matter. This isn't the person I know my boyfriend to be. When I first started noticing this behavior, I chalked it up to a bad day or being in a temporarily bad mood. But after a couple months, it's getting hard to just dismiss it as a bad day.

Where does that leave me socially? All my friends are sprawled out all over the country, so my only means of contact with them is through Facebook, which isn't quite the same thing as being able to physically seek a friend out for comfort. Then my boyfriend, the one person whose company I crave the most when I'm feeling down, starts to be the source of my unhappiness, and I'm down yet another friend.

Lonely and friendless, I'm not feeling as festive as I used to be during most other holiday seasons. Can you blame me?

Keep me in your thoughts, friends. It's going to be a rough one this year. X

Thankful for.... Disney Days!

There are so many things that I am grateful for in my life that if I started a list, I'm not sure I would ever stop. But I've recently discovered one more thing to add to that list: Build A Bear's Disney Days sale!

I'm just going to go ahead and say this now: I, a childless adult, am the proud mama of not one, but two Build A Bear stuffed animals. Both were a gift from my boyfriend, so it's not like I'm walking into the store alone and stuffing these bears solo. Having those two bears wouldn't be so strange if I didn't also have so many outfits for them that my boyfriend had good reason to get me a Build A Bear armoire so I could better organize all the clothes I have for them. I have Halloween outfits, Christmas outfits, some nice casual outfits, and graduation robes representing the two different years that my boyfriend and I graduated from our undergraduate careers. I got this armoire back in September, and I haven't purchased a single thing from Build A Bear since, and my wardrobe is already chock full of clothes! The drawers are filled to the brim, the accessory door can't take many more accessories, and I have to do some serious shoving and squeezing to add more outfits on the hanging rod. Between my boyfriend and myself, we have made enough trips to Build A Bear that we decided to go ahead and become a Stuff Fur Stuff member. We've purchased so much stuff that we have earned several gift cards because of all the points we easily rack up. Then I got an email from Build A Bear telling me all about Disney Days, their two-day sale on select Disney merchandise. Typically, I'm pretty skeptical of sales like this because sales usually fall into one of two categories: 

1) The sale is only a couple bucks off, which really just saves me the amount I would have paid in tax for that item; OR 

2) The sale is on an item that I don't particularly care to have anyway.

But when the email promised up to 60% off Disney merchandise, I couldn't help but at least check it out! 

Boy, am I ever glad that I did! 

For a little under $50, I had purchased two dresses, a Mickey tuxedo outfit, a Disney princess tiara, and a bedding set. This was all including tax. I really did save a ton on these items! I think I saved at least 50% on each item, a little more on some other items. I did the math comparing the amount I paid versus the full price, and I saved $24! That doesn't sound like much, but that is enough to buy two outfits at full price! I was thrilled! 

PLUS I didn't have to pay for shipping because I spent enough to qualify for free shipping. That's not all! The cherry on top of this whole thing: I used a $50 gift card my boss had given me a while back, so this purchase didn't cost me a dime! Without the Disney Days sale, I would have had to shell out an extra 24 bucks to get all that stuff. You guys, I'm a believer. I will always at least look at the items when Build A Bear promises things like the Disney Days sale! 

Nothing Like A Sink Shower!

Listen. We are all pretty busy people. You know what that means? It means that sometimes things like showers often have to either be rushed or skipped entirely. I've definitely had days where I'm running a little late for school or work, realize my hair is embarrassingly greasy, but don't have time to hop in the shower. I also happen to live with my mother who gets up before teachers do to go to work, so she goes to bed very early to wake up refreshed in the morning. She's a light sleeper, so when her lights go out for the night, the shower can't be turned on at the risk of a sound scolding for waking my mother up.

I've tried various different ways to get a quick "shower" in. My hair is the hard part. It's usually pretty easy for me scrub myself down to get my body cleaned. I've done things from baby powder/cornstarch in my hair, baking soda in my hair, and styling my hair differently to hide the fact that I haven't showered in the past 24 hours (don't judge - my work and school schedules get pretty hectic!). But there's nothing that works as well as bending over a sink and washing my hair in the sink. Of course, this doesn't give it the thorough clean it needs, but at the very least, I get my roots, and honestly, that's the most important part in my opinion. I then make sure to get a nice long shower in later that day. 

So how does one shower over the sink? It's easier than you might think!

1. Wear a t-shirt you don't mind getting wet! 

Seriously. Since you're going to be showering over a sink, you will get wet, your sink will get wet, and the clothes that you're wearing will also get wet. Some people do this over the kitchen sink since they're usually bigger than a bathroom sink, but I prefer to use the bathroom sink anyway because I get more privacy that way. Plus I have long hair, so I prefer not to wash my hair in the same place that my family washes food and dirty dishes. 

2. Bend over the sink, flip your hair over, and start getting your hair wet!
I like to have a small bowl or container handy for this. My aunt used to teach me to just cup my hands under the water to use as a makeshift bowl, but I've found that I make more of a mess that way. I'm also a pretty clumsy person, though, so other people might have more luck that I do. I use the small bowl to carefully pour/splash water at the front and sides of my hair, making sure to really get my roots wet. 

3. Start shampooing

This can either be the tricky part or the easy part, depending on how small your sink is and how careful you are. I squeeze a small amount of shampoo in my palm and then start rubbing it in my roots like I normally would if I were taking a regular shower. Just remember not to actually get your whole head though (unless you have short hair). It'll be harder to rinse out that soap if you have to rinse it out from a full head of long hair. 

4. Rinse!

Grab that small bowl and start rinsing out the shampoo. This could easily be the most time-consuming part, but that's okay. It's better to make sure to really get that soap out or you'll regret it later as you're scratching your head (literally!) wondering why your scalp is suddenly so itchy. By the end of this, your hair should be drenched and dripping wet. 

5. Grab your towel and start towel drying

Like I said, your hair should be dripping wet at this point. Grab your towel (which you should always leave within easy reach) and towel dry your hair. Your hair will most likely look pretty wild at this point, but remember that you washed your hair upside down, so gravity wasn't exactly on your side. But after a good round of towel drying, your hair shouldn't look that bad - just wet, naturally. 

6. Enjoy your clean(er) hair!

It's not the most thorough of methods to wash your hair, but it gets the job done. Personally, I think this is the most effective method of washing your hair when you're pressed for time. I feel cleaner and unlike when I use baby powder or cornstarch, I don't look like a granny from putting white powder in my black hair. 

Hope this helps!

X 

Just Another Person Complaining About Work

Alright, full disclosure: This post is 100% me complaining about my day at work yesterday because unfortunately for me, when I came home, my usual sources of listening ears were either busy or asleep.

That being said...

I am the last person to get all high and mighty about how qualified I am for any job. I completely understand that there are thousands of other people my age who hold degrees from far more impressive universities and who have significantly more experience in the field than me. I get it. I get that you don't just magically get to the top. You have to start from the bottom and work yourself there.

However...

I have recently just come out of the era of my constant underestimating how valuable I am and how much I can contribute to the field. Previously, I firmly believed that I am not worth more than being paid minimum wage to do very demanding work that I would continue to moan and groan about. However, now that I have a solid two years of experience under my belt, I'm starting to see things a little differently. I was fortunate enough that I landed myself a second job, and they offered a starting salary on the higher end of their pay spectrum. Obviously, this isn't quite enough to get a big head about, but it also reaffirmed that I am more valuable than I have let myself believe - and what I have allowed my employer to believe.

That's why I was particularly annoyed yesterday when I was yanked out of the middle of one of my classes to make coffee. Yes, I, a teacher of little toddlers, was asked to step out of my classroom so that I could make coffee for a potential customer so that the customer would leave happy. As annoyed as I was, I set up the coffee maker and had a pot brewing within minutes. I then returned to my class where mayhem was just starting to break out. I had just brought things back under control when my boss popped in my classroom again and asked, "I'm sorry, but is that coffee ready yet, or...?" Yes, that coffee was done brewing -- all she had to do was literally pour the coffee into a cup and add some creamer to it, then stir and give it to the customer. But no, because she's a boss, that kind of work is somehow beneath her. The disrespect that this company has shown me is appalling. It's why after I recommended one friend to work there, I quickly realized my mistake and have since refused to recommend the company to anyone.

New Year, New Me! (Again)

I know, I know. You, me, and the rest of the world has either heard it or said it a thousand times before -- New year, new me! And each time, we promise ourselves that we mean it this time. For me, I mean it for a maximum of two weeks before I decide that "new me" is just too hard to work on when I have to go through real life at the same time. Generally, my "new me" that I resolve to work on is a new and fitter me. Like many other people out there, I've got a bit more belly than I'd like. However, getting rid of all that extra belly is pretty tough when I have so many other life obligations.

That's why this year, I consulted the help of technology. More specifically, an app on my phone. That's right. When it comes to a fitness-themed (and other-themed, too, I'm sure) resolution of 'new year, new me,' there's an app for that!

Before I get into that, though, let me tell you all the try-and-fails that I attempted before turning to the app for help.

For the past year or so, I've been paying a gym membership fee. I think in the entire time that I've been a member at that gym, I actually visited the gym a total of five times. That basically means I've been giving the gym free money for the better part of the past year. This year, I wanted to change that. Sure, I could just cancel the membership and save myself a lot of money, but I figured it would be more worth it to just use the gym more frequently. So I went to the gym to get my run in. I ran a mile, did some half-hearted workouts, and then headed home. Honestly, it was incredibly unsatisfactory. Not only did I not really feel winded in the slightest by my gym time, but I didn't feel like I got anything out of my time there. The next day, I went back, ran an even faster mile, did a more thorough and vigorous workout, and felt a little more satisfied than I did the day before. Still, something was lacking. I was a little winded, but not enough to motivate me to go back. At the risk of sounding cocky, I can handle a pretty rigorous workout for someone who doesn't do much exercising. Of course, I've trained with Army soldiers before for three months. Then I got lazy and quit exercising. That's when things started to go downhill.

Then, I discovered this app. After years of not exercising, I downloaded the 30 Day Fitness Challenge App for Android. The nice thing about this app is that it has workouts for several different areas, including abs, butt, and arms. It also throws in cardio workouts, squat workouts, and push-up workouts. If that wasn't good enough, it also offers various levels of workouts, from beginner level 1 to advanced. Since I haven't worked out in a while, I started with a beginner level 1 workout for abs, arms, squats, and cardio. Everything can be done from the comfort of my own home, so I fired up my Netflix account, hit play on one of my shows, and got to work.

I was a little apprehensive about the beginner level 1 at first. I thought it'd be too easy, but boy, was I wrong. The workouts are deceptively short and easy, but after doing them, they prove to be quite the workout. My ab workout required me to do just 15 sit ups, 5 crunches, 5 leg raises, and a 10 second plank. By the end of it, I was definitely feeling it! Throughout the rest of my day, I definitely felt a little sore. The soreness was barely noticeable, but it was there. I don't know about you, but physically feeling the results of my workout (aka being sore) motivates me to continue.

I just completed my day 2 workout for the day, and I'm feeling my abs and legs more than ever. My arms are tingling a little, too, but the pain is mostly targeted in my abs and legs as of right now. Definitely looking forward to seeing results at the end of the 30 days!

Chao for now!

X

Trump's New Presidency and Its Effect on My Life (already)

I know it, you know it, the world knows it: Donald J. Trump is the new president elect of the good ol' United States of America.

To help readers who may not want to hear what I have to say about our new president, I'm going to cut to the chase and tell you right now that I am 100% anti-Trump, and will never support him as president of this country. 

Now that I've gotten that out of the way, let me go on to my opinion on the results of this election.

I am a non-white female child of two immigrants. Although I believe my English is as accent-free as my white American peers and colleagues, the one thing I don't have in common with them is the fact that I don't have the privilege of being white.

Yesterday, not 24 hours after the country found out the results of the election, I was told by one of my students that it's a good thing Trump won because "women don't deserve to be the president." Do you understand what that does to me? Here I am, holding the highest authority in that classroom as his teacher, and he's looking me in the face and essentially telling me that women don't deserve to be in positions of power. This dialogue isn't a new one; it's one that the patriarchy has been instilling in each and all of us in order to ensure that women do not feel empowered. However, the reason that this student felt bold enough to say those words with such confidence is because he believes that under Trump's presidency, he is allowed to say those words without suffering the consequences.

If these are the comments that people -- no, a child -- is willing to direct at me so soon after hearing the results of this election, I am terrified to see what adults will feel bold enough to say to me. Trump's victory makes me upset not because the candidate I wanted to win didn't, but because it now means I have, now more than ever, legitimate reason to fear for my physical and mental health. It tells me that half this country does not care about my life, my body, my voice, or my opinions. It means that despite being born and raised in this country, I will still not be good enough because of the color of my skin. This is why Trump is not my president. This is why I did not and do not support Trump. This is why Trump did not get my vote.

Lowering Your Craft Expenses

If you're anything like me where crafting and baking cool things is part of your daily cravings and actions, then you probably find yourself browsing through a craft store fairly often.

...

Or is it just me?

I promise A.C. Moore did not pay me to endorse them or advertise them. I just happen to live conveniently close to an A.C. Moore (seriously. The location is a 10 minute walk from my apartment. It doesn't get any more convenient than that, short of a taxi service from my front door to theirs). So I happen to be in there a lot. I find myself doing a lot of DIY projects, and most of those projects involve various materials that I simply do not have laying around. I'm also a pretty avid scrapbooker. My boyfriend and I started doing "adventure books" together -- scrapbooks filled with fun memories of things we've done together. This means I'm always looking for fun stickers and scrapbook paper. I'm also looking for material to work on my DIY projects. Needless to say, I'm always at this A.C. Moore.

When I first started out shopping at A.C. Moore, I constantly bemoaned the fact that I had to pay so much for stuff that probably could be found cheaper at other places. Then, on a whim, I decided to sign up for their rewards program. This ended up being a pretty great decision. If you're looking for a way to lower your A.C. Moore craft cost, definitely sign up for their rewards program.

I get emails every day with at least one coupon. Most days I get two. They're usually pretty good coupons, too. It's usually something like 50% off a regularly priced item. In fact, I've received so many coupons that I honestly don't get a chance to use most of them. I don't feel like I've missed out, though, because I always get a fresh coupon the next day.

Another great way to save at A.C. Moore is their receipts! This tends to get overlooked quite often. In fact, I overlooked it all the time for a while. But on their receipts, A.C. Moore usually has a coupon. It's usually something like a 50% off coupon that's valid about a week after your purchase. Having to wait before you can use the coupon can be a drag sometimes, but it comes in handy when you're at the store and need a coupon but don't feel like having to browse through your email on your phone to find the coupon.

Another thing on the receipt, in smaller print, is the opportunity to get a discount for taking a very quick and easy survey. If you go to acmoorecares.com and put in a few details about your purchase, you're asked to answer a series of questions that's essentially rating them on a scale of 1-5 on various aspects of your shopping experience. It's pretty easy and painless to complete. At the end of the survey, you get a validation code that you write on the receipt, Then on your next visit to an A.C. Moore store, you get a discount on your next single-item purchase. Like I said, super easy.

Now with all these new ways to save on your next purchase, go forth and shop!

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